I don't understand. I really don't. Is this the universe's idea of a cruel joke? Why do we meet people that we're not 'meant' to be with? What does that even mean? Is this some sort of test? Here, meeting this awesome person who will make you sooooo happy....just kidding, you're not allowed to be with him despite the crazy connection the two of you have. mwahahahaha. Not funny. Or is it a test to see whether I have the strength to break from the norm? Either way, I am not a fan of tests.
I was recently talking to my mom who had been running a few errands. Along the way, she encountered a guy who supposedly could tell the future. As she's incredibly worried about my single status, she spoke to him about me. The guy said that he was surprised that I hadn't gotten married last year as the stars were aligned and things looked very strong. As she relayed this story to me, she also added that she neglected to tell him about Walter. I cut the conversation short as I was annoyed that every single time 'boys' were discussed, Joe was left out of it. He was conveniently forgotten about and it was as if he never existed!
I found myself walking in the park with my mom a couple of days later. I'm not sure how we got back to the subject of boys (then again, when are we not talking about boys), but I calmly explained to my mom that it wasn't fair that Joe was continuously left out. He was the biggest part of my life to that point and it was ridiculous to pretend that the entire fight or discussion never occurred. While I didn't understand why they reacted the way they did, I explained that I had to accept it and was trying to move on. The situation had not been forgotten, however.
What seemed like out of nowhere, my mom says "well, if you really think that he's the right person for you, then just marry him. I can't stop you - you're almost 30. I don't want to be blamed, down the road, if you don't find anyone else. It'll ruin the family name in the community, but if it's what you think is best, then you should just go ahead and marry him. Parents adapt - they always do. I may not like it and may retreat for awhile, but eventually I will have to adapt, too. It's hard to watch you go through your life, single. Maybe I overreacted a year ago, I'm sorry."
Excuse me? Are you kidding? (you must be) Are you just saying that? (probably) Do you actually mean it? (likely not) Are you saying that because I've already told you that Joe has moved in with his new girlfriend in Australia and is moving on with his life? (well, you're not a malicious person so probably not, it's just coincidence) Now, a year later, you are giving me permission (albeit slightly backhandedly) to marry the guy I've tried to fight for, for the last how many years? I've tried to get over it in the last year and now it's back in front of me as an actual option... or are you just messing with me??
Why is it that women are always left to balance both cultures? I have been born and raised in Canada - this is not how we think - we don't worry about 'family name in society'. We worry about world peace and equality for all. We do our best to balance both worlds and find and live the best values from each. We don't marry to 'fall in love later', but fall in love and then marry. How is it possible for guys to get away with things? If they married outside of the culture, the girl would be blamed for whisking the boy away from the culture. But, if a girl marries outside of her culture, it's all her fault and who could she shame the family like that?
WTF?!?!?! Where's The Fruit!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!" (I don't like to swear, WTF = where's the fruit)
Make up your mind, fate, please, make up your mind.
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