Aftermath

I had already signed a one-year lease for my apartment (before I went to Costa Rica).  My life's possessions  were already in my apartment (albeit, in boxes).  I had a job (albeit part-time) all lined up and the principal had been kind to let me start 6 weeks into the year, as soon as my cast had come off.  So, I was set to move to Halifax.  All I had to do was get through the next 6 weeks on the couch and go tackle my new life in a city I wasn't too keen on being in.  Not to worry, it was the higher road.  'I'm strong, I can handle this', I thought to myself.  I wasn't going to chicken out of the move just because Walter and I had broken up!

About ten days after we broke up, a friend of Walter's,  was also having foot surgery.  Anna's Facebook status indicated that she was worried about the process and nobody had responded to her, yet.  I privately messaged her saying that I understood if she didn't respond because of what happened between Walter and I, but that she had nothing to worry about.  I walked her through the process, hoping to put her mind at ease.  Anna was a sweetheart - we'd met when I went to see Walter in Halifax; Anna and her husband, Peter, had made sure that I felt at home and had a good time - we'd met up a few times throughout the weekend and they'd stayed in touch.

Anna replied to my message and was shocked to hear that Walter and I were no longer together.  Peter had spoken to Walter a few times in the last ten days and not once had Walter mentioned anything!  Walter had sought advice from Anna about the ring, so she knew that things were going well and couldn't believe that suddenly everything had ended.  She was thankful for the information about her surgery and assured me that we would stay friends despite the chaos - after all, I would need friendly faces in Halifax once I moved! :)  It was sweet of her.

As Anna and I were both couch-ridden post-surgery, we kept each other company over Skype and became closer friends.  She was a smart, beautiful and amazingly friendly person and it was nice to chat while we both were immobile.

I wasn't comfortable with Walter still having my apartment keys and mail.  Peter and Walter played on the same dodgeball team, so asked Peter to pick up my things from Walter one night after their game.  I felt better knowing that it was in the hands of someone I trusted.  Walter eventually told Peter and Anna (and the rest of his friends) that we had broken up but his version of the story was that 'it just didn't work out'.  Anything else he added had clearly implied that it was my idea and fault that we were no longer together.  I wasn't concerned about what his friends thought, but Anna had known the truth (it's what happens when you have eight hours a day on skype with someone and neither of you can really do anything else).  Peter and Anna were both livid.  Peter had moved to be with Anna in Halifax after only a few months of knowing her.  Even before they knew the full story, Peter and Anna were upset with Walter.  They knew how much sacrifice a move involved and to break things off simply because they 'just didn't work out' was unacceptable to either of them.

I was glad Walter was out of my life.  I was touched that Anna and Peter had declared themselves co-captains of team Anika - something I never expected and was incredibly appreciated!

Walter and I had exchanged a couple of brief emails, which just upset me even more.  I was disappointed that he left me in such an awkward position - I still had to move to Halifax.  I had turned down some amazing opportunities in the UK to move there...for a part time job.  He wrote back and understood that I was in an awkward position and apologized but asked that I see his side of things, too.  He was also in an awkward position because he "bought a ring out a sense of commitment and love for [me], but which no longer had a purpose".  He was comparing a cross-country move, uprooting my life and giving up amazing job prospects to the purchase of a ring?  Seriously?  Who does that?!

To try and move on, I looked at our relationship and found all the things I had done wrong - I could have been more patient and understanding.  I could have communicated things differently.  I could have used less emails and skyped more in order to prevent miscommunications.  All sorts of things, and for those reasons, I emailed Walter and apologized to him for the situation we were currently in.  It's the last thing either of us wanted, and hopefully he would realize that.  I needed to let go and this was my way of doing it.  He didn't respond until two weeks later when he accepted the apology and forgave me 'entirely' (no apology on his part).  He knew that I had not meant to hurt him. (roll eyes)

One aftermath email that I have yet to stop laughing at, really sums up his personality and why things never would have worked out.  A big storm had hit Halifax and before he had given my keys to Peter, he had checked out my apartment to make sure it was okay (which I thought was nice of him).  The email that I received after his inspection:


"I went to your apartment this evening and am happy to report that I observed no damage.  I decided to put the items (except the charcoal briquets which are still wrapped in paper and inside) back on the balcony.  While there is a risk of storm-related damage from future storms, I think that the risk is lessened by the fact that the storms seem to approach Halifax from the southwest whereas your balcony faces northeast.  I estimate that this means that any items on your balcony should be sheltered from high winds.  Also, the cinder blocks and table are fairly heavy and I spread them out over the green carpet so everything should stay put.  I also decided to put the items back on the balcony because the table may be growing some kind of mould and I was concerned about those organisms getting into your carpet and walls and thereby affecting your indoor air quality.  The cinder blocks and table had been sitting on packing paper so I threw that paper in the garbage to avoid any mould contamination."


My response:  "What if the direction of the winds change...like in Mary Poppins?"


I moved to Halifax with the help of Anna and Peter, who I had become closer friends with.  They had moved everything in my apartment to the side so that we had room to unpack.  They had stocked my fridge with juice and veggies, toilet paper in the bathroom and some lovely flowers to cheer me up.  It was sweet and I was incredibly thankful for their warmth and friendship.