I could keep going with the title - it's everything vs. everything. So many conflicting views, most of which are just that, views. No right, no wrong... just opinions (many of which I disagreed with).
I was torn as to whether or not to fight for Joe. On one hand, I had this amazing guy that I had gotten to know over the last ten or so years. Sure, we had our ups and downs and moments of really not liking each other. Yes, I probably could've found someone who had treated me perfectly without ever making me cry, but, could I have found that someone who also made me laugh as much as Joe did? Or feel as loved and special as Joe did? It was Joe who was sitting in my car who turned to me and reassured me that "even in your baggy hoodies, sweatpants and toe-socks, you will always be my princess". I didn't need to be anyone but myself with Joe. He knew the worst side of me and loved me in spite of it! Or was it all just about comfort. We had such a long history together, that we couldn't really imagine ourselves with anyone else. When we were together, things just worked and we had gotten into a groove...and that level of comfort was always easier than trying something new. So many thoughts were running through my head and I wasn't sure what to do. A huge part of me said "FIGHT!", while a much smaller part of me worried about my family (and the parental fallout that would undoubtedly ensue)...
I had emailed a couple of good friends who had known the worst of our relationship. They knew me through the very rough few years that Joe and I had been through where I honestly should have given him the curb-side checkout. But I hadn't and for some reason, I couldn't. Both warned me against the fight, and believed I deserved better. They loved me dearly and supported me no matter which way I decided to go with it, but strongly believed that I would find someone who I could not only be myself with but would treat me as I deserved to be treated. As I try to do with most advice, I took it with a grain of salt and understood their points, but really had to figure out what I wanted for myself. After all, I was the only one who was really privy to all of the intimate details of my relationship with Joe. These amazing friends had seen me through the worst of it, but I hadn't been talking about Joe to anyone for the last few years when things had been great...
I had spoken to my siblings and all of them were amazingly supportive and believed in fighting for true love. Admittedly, my sister was already threatening to beat Joe to a pulp if anything went wrong or if he ever hurt me in the slightest. I was touched... :)
And so, I fought. I challenged the idea of our family's reputation within the community would be ruined by being with a man of Muslim background. I challenged the cultural norms of marrying someone within the community. I challenged the values that my parents had held for their entire lives. I stood up for my values. I stood up for what I wanted. I stood up for what I believed in. I stood up for love.
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