Joe was moving to Asia and following his heart to live abroad and conquer the world. I was proud of him. He had proved himself in so many ways and never settled for anything but his absolute best.
We had both been through quite a bit during the nine months we didn't speak and after we spoke the first time, the floodgates opened and we were talking daily. We were back to being each other's pillars, providing support, laughter and companionship over the phone and online.
He was planning a one-week trip between his two jobs and I suggested he come to London so that we could spend some time together before he left. He wasn't keen on London as an option as he had spent time there in the past and preferred we meet elsewhere. Paris! I was able to take a 3-day weekend and took a train to Paris for the weekend.
He met me at the train station with a single rose in-hand. He had already checked us into our hotel, which was unfortunately not too close to downtown. We dropped off my things and found a quiet restaurant for dinner. It has been almost a year since we had seen each other, and there wasn't much to say. We were just happy to be in each other's company. We had a quiet evening to ourselves before taking in all the fantastic sights of Paris the next day.
We had a lot to see. We were headed to Versailles the next day and wanted to get as much of Paris in as possible. We climbed up the Eiffel Tower, walked down the Champs Elysees, took in the Louvre, and strolled through Montmartre. As we approached the the Sacree Coeur, one of the street people who ties 'good luck' bracelets on people and asks for money approached us. We tried to dodge him, but he was good. He asked all sorts of questions, which Joe took the lead in answering - where were we from? (Canada) Why were we in Paris? (for a visit) How long were we staying? (3 days) Were we married? (Not yet). NOT YET?! Did Joe have something in mind that I wasn't aware of? I mean, I knew that we loved each other unconditionally and wanted to be together, but we both knew that we couldn't be together. It was just one of those cruel hands that the world had dealt us - kind of like Romeo and Juliet. We were so thankful for what we had, but we knew that being together was likely never going to be an option. So.... not yet? Not Yet?! Why would he even venture into the land of 'Not Yet'?
I chose not to bring it up because I feared the answer. What I didn't want was for him to actually ask the question. Because, I likely would've just said 'yes' in the moment and then wound up deeper into something that had no happy ending.
So, instead, we just had an amazingly romantic weekend, staying at the Chateau Hotel of the Palais Versailles and having cart-wheel competitions in their gardens. We lay in the grass admiring the amazing weather, the blue skies and life in general. We were so happy and nothing could (or ever will) take that away from us.
I went back to work and Joe continued onto Belgium.
Two weeks later, after he moved to Asia, he called. We had a long talk at the end of which, he asked me to move to Asia to be with him.
I had two conflicting reactions:
1. That's incredibly sweet...how I would love to move to Asia to be with him and start a life together at last.
2. SON OF A GUN. Really? You waited until you got to Asia to ask me? What about when we were finally together in Paris? Why are you asking me when you know what a ridiculous position that will put me in?
I had to say no. I didn't see an option. Until I could figure out a way to bring my two worlds together without them being on a total collision course, I had to say no...
:(
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