Star light, star bright....

So many friends of mine have compared Joe and I to Ross and Rachel from Friends.  I guess if you just look at the drama of it all, it's a fair comparison.  We all know the ending to Friends, though...

Joe is in Europe as I write.  He's proposing to his girlfriend sometime this or next week.  After he told me, it took me a week to get over the crazy emotions that consumed me, but then I let go, and I was excited for him.  Heck, I even gave him tips on where he could propose since he wasn't sure and I'd been to the countries he would be traveling to.  He was my best friend, afterall.  We had grown together for ten years and could complete each others thoughts and sentences.  I knew what he found romantic and how he would want to propose and I gave him a few options of where he could do that in the foreign land he'd set foot on.

When he told me that he planned to get married in December, I was excited at the prospect that I would actually get to see him when he got married.  Not the case.  He made it clear that I wouldn't be invited to the wedding.  Understandable, I guess.  We have a long history.  His girlfriend might not be very happy with it...and maybe I wouldn't be either.  Heck, I'm sure I wouldn't be.  So, it's understandable.

So, I feel like we've gone from 'Ross and Rachel' to 'My Best Friend's Wedding', except that (on most days), I don't want to break up his wedding.  As tough a pill as it was (and sometimes still is) for me to swallow, he moved on (just as I had asked him to).  He found happiness in someone else and I can't do anything but be extremely happy for him!  And, I am.  Anything else would be a waste of my own energy (and fairly selfish).  I would have loved to be there for him on his big day, though.

On days like today, I miss him.  Not as much the relationship side of things, but the friendship.  The comfort without words, the laughter and smiles of inside jokes and the knowledge that he's there if I decide to pick up the phone and say nothing at all...

Tonight, the stars on my ceiling will have to do... :)