The haunts of shaadi.com

I thought I had finally escaped the world of shaadi.com.  I didn't renew my subscription, I deleted my profile, blocked it from sending me emails and had pretty much forgotten all about it.

Until I received 15 emails, all forwarded from my mom with 'new matches' from the site!  Now, those of you who are from a similar (or any immigrant) background will understand a parent's concern and worry for their child being unwed at such a late stage in life (I'm 29).  To her dismay, I gave up on online dating sites a couple of months ago (see Premium Membership Expired), so I guess she felt the need to take it upon herself to create a profile and find me some matches!

Bless her heart for caring so much that she takes the time to do this on a regular basis, but unbeknownst to her, her timing couldn't have been worse.

The first time I realized that she had created a profile was when she forward to me not one, not five but FIFTEEN emails in one morning with potential suitors.  It happened to be the morning after Joe got married. Oops.

By that afternoon, I had another four in my inbox. I was not happy, and I did my best to hide it.  She was only trying to help and this was the only way she knew how; I would find the right moment to talk to her about it.  She was apologetic to me that she couldn't find further details of these boys because she hadn't created a full profile (sure, sure).  I let it go for another few days before I finally replied to one of the profiles and said:

"mom -

I have been set up through shaadi with most of these guys that you are sending me.  I'm not interested in them or they really do turn out to be creepy - I've met quite a few.  I left shaadi.com after 5-6 years because there were really odd people on the site...

Please don't worry, I will find someone when the time is right. NASEEB! :)"

(Naseeb = luck/chance/fate)

She replied with "ok" and that was the end of shaadi.com.... ... ... until this morning when she pulled up another profile and said "Anika, take a look at this one...looks like a nice match".

Sigh... looks like shaadi.com will haunt me for some time to come!

A New Year, A New.....Date?!

I have been absent from the blogging world and for that I apologize.  Life got ahead of me and I hid under the rocks of crazy work hours and avoided much of my personal life.  But, I'm back!

I had a read through my blog not too long ago and wondered, "why is it that all of these men like me, fall in love with me, or just want to date me, yet I have no interest in them?  What is wrong with me?"

I had no answers.  I had done my best to let go of past relationships and emotional trauma and thought I was doing well.  I immersed myself into my work and distanced myself from most of my friends for almost a year...some of which were for good reason and others not so much.  I no longer wanted to admit to the world that I was still not over Joe because I felt that the world had heard enough about Joe.  It was time to move on.  But why couldn't I?

Even today, I still think about him a lot.  He got married over the holidays and although I stayed away from the GTA (I had a massively coincidental work reason not to be around and I took full advantage), it was hard to do anything but feel numb over the days when I knew our mutual friends were together celebrating his next chapter. I was happy that he had found someone and was settling down. I was sad that that someone was not me. I was happy that he was happy. I was sad that I was not?  I didn't know.  I just felt numb.  It probably didn't help matters that the morning after the wedding, I awoke to 15 emails from my mom with potential suitors from shaadi.com!  I wish I was joking!  There was annoyance, not because of the emails and the impeccable timing of sending them, but that it felt like she'd completely just forgotten about the entire 'Joe situation'.  But, there was no point in being upset about it...and I was still feeling pretty numb.

With the new year, I decided that it was time for a new me.  Back to my social life, back to being my happy self and being out in the world...and back to the dating scene. No more hiding and no more excuses.  No more looking for faults in guys and no more nitpicking.  Can I do it?!  I hope so!!